So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
