I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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