Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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