I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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