Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
