found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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