So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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