Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize
