True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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