You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
