I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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