I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
