i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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