Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize