Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
