i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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