Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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