i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
