I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
