I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize