k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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