hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
