Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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