I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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