He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
