Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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