Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
