This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
