It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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