I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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