someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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