the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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