This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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