The maid of honor just puked.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
