I wanna bring you to show and tell
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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