How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize