3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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