oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
