used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
