One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He shit in the fireplace
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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