I think I died a long time ago.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
