I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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