Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
