Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
