hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
