i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
lol hangovers are for mortals.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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