he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
