It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
