Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
