Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
