i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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