I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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