He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize