someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
