a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
