I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
