Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
