She's JV to your varsity
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Randomize