When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
