do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just had sex bonerless
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
