why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
