can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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