I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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