Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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