Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
