if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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