the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
