Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Boobs speak an international language.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize