I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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