he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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